My 3rd Mistake - No Gift For My Mother - Aug 12

My third mistake was not getting you even a card for your birthday. I had been planning to give you the usual cash in a card, but you had your stroke, and I wasn't even sure you would be able to read. Your stroke was two days before your 86th birthday, as you know. What sort of gift is that? Others gave you cards. Others also gave you flowers. Those were on display in your hospital room at the Methodist Hospital in Sugarland. One of the few things you could say after your stroke was "why?" And forever being inquisative and forever wanting every detail explained, you continued to ask that question until the day you died. But when you asked the question on your birthday, I often wondered if you were asking me why I did not even give you a card. Guilt is such a horrible thing. I truly cannot give you a good reason. I guess I didn't want to give you a card with no present attached. Also, I didn't see how any of the words in any of the cards on the shelf could possibly be appropriate to an 86 year old woman who just had a stroke to compound her physical ailments. You already had a sore back, a sore neck, some battles with gout, two sollen ankles, sore knees. What else could possibly go wrong? It was always a challenge trying to keep you comfortable even when you could speak. At least then you could tell us what was ailing you. But without knowing what was hurting you, here we all were moving you around in your hospital bed, trying to get you comfortable. The fourth mistake was probably letting that physical therapist have her way with you. I was not there at the time, but my sister said she jerked your right leg far away from your body. I think this caused you unbearable pain, and I think it continued to cause you pain for the rest of your life. *IT* was the reason we insisted on giving you pain medication -- even on an empty stomach, which may have been our biggest mistake of all, but more about that later.